The Real Enemy

Oh-oh, yes I’m the great pretender
Pretending that I’m doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

— The Platters

I love Ryan Holiday. But I think he was wrong. The ego is not the enemy. On the contrary, it’s your friend. I get that “ego is the enemy” is good alliteration for a book title. But I also think that referring to the ego as an enemy is contributing to the rising neo-fundamentalism found in some spirituality and philosophical circles. Which is this: something is wrong with you. You have a design flaw. And the design flaw is your ego. I think that’s bullshit. And an enormous distraction from the actual enemy.

First, the ego is designed to keep us alive. While it makes for a tyrannical ruler, it is an excellent employee. It assesses dangers. It plans. It compares. It creates structure and hierarchies. It creates order and systems. Without it, we would either be dead or useless. To borrow an old church phrase: don’t be so heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good.

Second, there is an actual enemy that is a direct threat to your core self, your mission, your joy, your peace. There are…