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Every Little Death
The ego is an efficient illusion making machine. This is its design. It is part of our biology and our psyche. This design has one base command: “Don’t let the host die”. To accomplish this command, the ego produces illusions to protect us from the harsh realities of life. One of these realities is that we die. Not just the death of the body, but the death of identities, roles, plans.
We can master the ego, but we can’t kill it — largely because we need it. What we can kill are the illusions that it produces — mostly with the power of awareness and truth. The first killing of illusion (called Ego Death by Jung) is the death of the illusion of self. This death comes about either involuntarily (traumatic experience) or voluntarily (truth-seeking similar to Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey”). In either case, the illusion of self that was crafted is shattered.
People that believe in the illusion can still have a kind of faith. But it’s a faith of holding on — to beliefs, a way, a system, symbols, assumptions, roles. But in the holding on, this kind of faith prevents the death of the illusion so that truth can emerge. Further, this kind of holding on faith is pablum for the soul — just enough to keep it alive but not enough to grow.
This initial killing of the illusion of self is agonizing. It is full of grief, pain, massive change. It is the shattering of all we…
